{"id":2665241,"date":"2024-04-23T04:00:55","date_gmt":"2024-04-23T10:00:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.outsideonline.com\/?p=2665241"},"modified":"2024-04-23T10:36:18","modified_gmt":"2024-04-23T16:36:18","slug":"dad-daughter-started-period-backpacking-camping","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.outsideonline.com\/culture\/love-humor\/dad-daughter-started-period-backpacking-camping\/","title":{"rendered":"My 12-Year-Old Started Her Period. How Can I Support Her While Backpacking?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Welcome to Tough Love<\/a>. We\u2019re answering your questions about dating, breakups, and everything in between. Our advice giver is Blair Braverman<\/a>, dogsled racer and author of <\/em>Small Game<\/a> and <\/em>Welcome to the Goddamn Ice Cube<\/a>. Have a question of your own? Write to us at\u00a0toughlove@outsideinc.com<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n

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I\u2019m a dad, and my daughter and I have always gone backpacking together, just the two of us. It\u2019s become a very special part of our relationship. We get time to talk, and she tells me about her life and what she\u2019s thinking about. I always let her choose the destination.<\/b><\/p>\n

She just turned 12, and I know she\u2019s started her period, although that\u2019s something that she talks about with her mom, not me. She\u2019s asked me to pick up pads before, which I\u2019m happy to do, but otherwise it doesn\u2019t come up. She\u2019s also at an age where she\u2019s developing more privacy around her body, which I completely understand and respect.\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n

Now that she\u2019s getting older, how can I make sure she has the space and privacy she needs while we\u2019re backpacking together, without making her feel like she should be embarrassed, or like I\u2019m being weird about her growing up?<\/b><\/p>\n

I think it\u2019s fantastic that you\u2019re thinking about this, and also fantastic that you take these trips together. You\u2019re taking your daughter seriously as an adventurer, an athlete, and a person with goals and ideas and dreams\u2014and you\u2019re also modeling the kind of thoughtfulness and respect that she should expect from men in her life, and from people in general. I\u2019m sure this time together means the world to her.<\/p>\n

It seems like you\u2019ve established a chill and supportive relationship with your daughter, which means that most of the work, in this case, is already done. She knows that she can come to you if she needs to, and that you\u2019ll follow her lead when it comes to privacy. You and her mom should confer, just the two of you, to make sure your daughter has the information, products, and anything else she\u2019ll need.<\/p>\n

If your daughter has her period in the backcountry, she\u2019ll have to carry out any used menstrual products, which she can seal in a ziplock bag; it\u2019s nice to put that ziplock inside another bag\u2014an opaque one\u2014for discretion. If you\u2019re in bear country, she\u2019ll also have to keep that bag in bear-proof storage overnight, along with your food, trash, and anything else that might attract critters. If you\u2019re hoisting a bear bag, or filling a bear canister, and she adds a pouch to it, don\u2019t bat an eye and don\u2019t ask questions. And if you notice that she seems extra sensitive, don\u2019t take it personally; just try to stay calm and supportive.<\/p>\n

Periods can be unpredictable, and even if your daughter thinks she\u2019s prepared, she could still be taken by surprise. It\u2019s not a bad idea for you to tuck some pads and tampons in your own bag, too, along with hand sanitizer, wet wipes, and Advil for cramps. Odds are that she won\u2019t need them\u2014but if she does, then having those supplies will make all the difference. You don\u2019t even have to mention them unless it comes up.<\/p>\n

Similarly, you can give your daughter space without really drawing attention to it. Make sure she gets some time alone in the tent, so she can change clothes and do whatever else she needs to do. Maybe come up with an excuse to putter around the campsite for a few minutes after she goes to bed, and for a few minutes in the morning, too. And even though you can\u2019t knock on a tent door, give her a head\u2019s up before entering instead of just barging in.<\/p>\n

Your daughter\u2019s at a confusing stage right now. She might feel confident one moment, and insecure the next; she might want to take more responsibility and leadership on your trek, or she might enjoy just being able to lean on her dad. The great thing is that you can give her all of this. Let her take the lead during the day, or handle navigation, then cuddle against you by the fire and play \u201cI Spy.\u201d You\u2019re her dad, and you\u2019re there for her\u2014whether she\u2019s feeling grown-up or like a little kid, and everything in between.<\/p>\n

My friend and I have been camping and road-tripping together and she has no sense of personal space or privacy. We\u2019ve been friends for a long time, so I always knew that she was pretty open about her body. She changes right in front of me, and so on, which I don\u2019t mind at all. To me, that\u2019s just basic locker room stuff. The thing is that lately she\u2019s almost become more\u2026aggressive about it? Not in an overt way, but I just notice that she\u2019s doing things in front of me that I have always considered to be private activities. <\/b>She doesn\u2019t even try to go behind a tree anymore when she goes to the bathroom, and will hold a conversation with me the whole time, even when I\u2019m clearly trying to give her space. <\/b><\/p>\n

She\u2019s struggled with shame around her body, so I\u2019ve been hesitant to say something, because I don\u2019t want to bring that up for her again or make her feel like she should be embarrassed. But I also think that if she does these things around other people, they may judge her, and I want to protect her from that. How can I steer her toward more appropriate boundaries when it comes to bodily functions?<\/b><\/p>\n

This is a clear example of a case where it\u2019s okay\u2014and good!\u2014to not overthink things. You\u2019re worried about your friend\u2019s battles with shame, about her sense of boundaries, about whether her behavior might have social repercussions later on. But actually, the real problem is that she\u2019s doing bathroom-y stuff in front of you and you don\u2019t like it. Try this line next time: \u201cYou know what? I\u2019m gonna turn around while you do that. It\u2019s not about you, it\u2019s about me.\u201d She should get the hint pretty quickly\u2014both that you\u2019re not into it, and that other people might be uncomfortable, too.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

As her dad, I want to give her the space and privacy she needs, without making her feel like she should be embarrassed<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":124363,"featured_media":2665377,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"uuid":"1eb66467b40823c210d41f399c53722d","footnotes":""},"categories":[2578],"tags":[2985,2608,2634,2665],"byline":[1678],"ad_cat":[],"legacy-category":[],"class_list":["post-2665241","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-love-humor","tag-backcountry-camping","tag-camping","tag-hiking-and-backpacking","tag-wellness","byline-blair-braverman"],"acf":[],"parsely":{"version":"1.1.0","meta":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@type":"NewsArticle","headline":"My 12-Year-Old Started Her Period. How Can I Support Her While Backpacking?","url":"https:\/\/www.outsideonline.com\/culture\/love-humor\/dad-daughter-started-period-backpacking-camping\/","mainEntityOfPage":{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.outsideonline.com\/culture\/love-humor\/dad-daughter-started-period-backpacking-camping\/"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/cdn.outsideonline.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/04\/Dad-daughter-backpacking_h-150x150.jpg","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","url":"https:\/\/cdn.outsideonline.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/04\/Dad-daughter-backpacking_h.jpg"},"articleSection":"Love & Humor","author":[{"@type":"Person","name":"irosario"}],"creator":["irosario"],"publisher":{"@type":"Organization","name":"ºÚÁϳԹÏÍø Online","logo":"https:\/\/www.outsideonline.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/favicon-194x194-1.png"},"keywords":["backcountry camping","camping","hiking and backpacking","wellness"],"dateCreated":"2024-04-23T10:00:55Z","datePublished":"2024-04-23T10:00:55Z","dateModified":"2024-04-23T16:36:18Z"},"rendered":"