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Wilder’s dad and I got into a wrestling match while camping on a beach in Mexico last year, when Wilder was two. That kid is brave: he jumped into the middle of it to try and save his dad. One of us must have kicked or elbowed him in the process, resulting in this bloody nose. Wilder didn’t seem to mind too much.
Wilder’s dad and I got into a wrestling match while camping on a beach in Mexico last year, when Wilder was two. That kid is brave: he jumped into the middle of it to try and save his dad. One of us must have kicked or elbowed him in the process, resulting in this bloody nose. Wilder didn’t seem to mind too much.
Indefinitely Wild

A Bad Uncle’s Guide to Dangerous Gifts for Kids

How old does a child need to be when you give them their first knife? The answer assumes you know how old they are in the first place.

Published:  Updated: 
Wes Siler
Wilder’s dad and I got into a wrestling match while camping on a beach in Mexico last year, when Wilder was two. That kid is brave: he jumped into the middle of it to try and save his dad. One of us must have kicked or elbowed him in the process, resulting in this bloody nose. Wilder didn’t seem to mind too much.

New perk: Easily find new routes and hidden gems, upcoming running events, and more near you. Your weekly Local Running Newsletter has everything you need to lace up! .

Black Friday has come and gone. And for you other uncles out there, that means your time to forget to buy yournephews and nieces entirely inappropriate gifts is rapidly drawing to a close. Allow me to help.

Light, nimble, and fast...those aren't words you'd typically apply to a Harley, but the motor company's new range of electric push bikes, bicycles, scooters, and even motorcycles hold real promise.
Light, nimble, and fast...those aren't words you'd typically apply to a Harley, but the motor company's new range of electric push bikes, bicycles, scooters, and even motorcycles hold real promise. (Harley-Davidson)

Their First Motorcycle

Everyone knows motorcycles are dangerous. Fortunately, young bones heal faster than old ones; there’s no better time to start riding than when you’re a kid.

How old does a child need to be before you can give them their first motorcycle? Harley-Davidson says its new range of electric balance bikes areappropriate for children agesthree and up. So, naturally, I gave my best friend’s son, Wilder, his first Hog for his second birthday.

The IRONe12($650) weighs just 17 pounds, so even Wilder’s dad is able to load it into and out of his truck with ease.It operates with a twist throttle, so Wilder is learning real motorcycle control skills, as well asbalance, as he rips around trails on this thing at nine miles per hour, the top speed.

The two-amp-hour battery is only enough for about 30 minutes of riding, so in addition to a helmet, make sure you order your niece or nephew an extra one, too.

Their First Knife

According to a National Library of Medicine study, knives send to the emergency room every day. I gave Wilder that motorcycle because his mom told me two was too young for a first knife. What isthe right age? Every kid is different, obviously, but Boy Scouts start earning their Totin’ Chip (the equivalent ofa learner’s permit for knives)at ten years old.

I’m pretty sure my biological nephew, Roscoe, is eight, so for Christmas this year, I shipped a($30) to his house in France. That’s the model I had when I was his age, and it comes complete with a saw,scissors, and an awl (in addition to the blades and other tools), whichI remember using regularlyto construct a variety of forts and weapons.

There areother knives out there and supposedly learner-friendly features, but in my opinion, as an avowed not-a-parent, a kid is better off learning how to handle the real thing. Pain remains an effective teacher. I still sport a scar from a Swiss Army knife saw across my left thumb—but I haven’t injured myself with any sawsince.

Actual danger is relative, and often deceiving. Trampolines might slip past some parents easier than technically less dangerous gifts like knives.
Actual danger is relative, and often deceiving. Trampolines might slip past some parents easier than technically less dangerous gifts like knives. (The Original Toy Company)

A Trampoline

My two-year-old niece, Sarah, lives in Los Angelesand doesn’t have a yard big enough for archery or motorcycle riding. However, trampolines can be stored vertically, meaning they take up no more room than a card table. The Academy of Pediatrics says trampolines are responsible for , a third of whombreak bones.

But they’re also a lot of fun. Somy wife and I picked out one for $90 that comes in bright colors andisappropriate for Sarah’sage. We look forward to seeing her parents’ faces on Zoomafter a long Christmas morning of nonstop jumping.

I suppose a sleeping bag, on its own, isn’t terribly dangerous. But you can use them to facilitate dangerous activities.
I suppose a sleeping bag, on its own, isn’t terribly dangerous. But you can use them to facilitate dangerous activities. (Big Agnes)

Camping Gear

There’s no better experience for a kid than a camping trip. Aside from weather, the primary determinant in the enjoyment of a night in the woods is the quality of yourcamping gear. I figure most parents probably don’t spend as much time nerding out on this stuff as I do. And since I don’t have to footthe bills for babysittersand piano lessons, I figure it’s my sacred uncle duty to help out with equipment.

Big Agnes makes a handful of killer sleeping bags for kidsthat pair with any 20-inch-wide rectangular pad. They’ll keep children comfortabledown to 15 degrees (when paired with an insulated pad)and use synthetic insulation that will remain warm if it gets wet. Better yet: they’re affordable, with prices starting at $70.

Kids can’t really go camping without an adult, so the biggest helpful hand you can extendas gift-givermay be with adult gear.Sizing their tent up to a three- or four-person model might help,asmight upgrading their sleep system to something warmer, more comfortable, or lighter. You can find my recommendations for two-person backpacking sleep systems hereand car camping setups here.

Of course, the best thing you can offer is to take your niece or nephew on a camping trip yourself.

Their First Bow

Once again this year, Wilder’s mom explained to me that he’s stilltoo young for a knife.Buta National Library of Medicine study assures me that. So I felt confident ordering Wilder a bow and arrowfor his third birthday.

The ($99) says it’s appropriate for kids agesthree through six. SoWilder should be able to enjoy this thing for at least a year before he grows out of it.

Roscoe’s approximate age makes him too big for the Lil’ John, so for ChristmasI shipped him the ($110), sizedforkids eight and up. The odds that my sister actually lets himusethis thing are slim, but that at least means he’ll be looking forward to archery lessons during my next visit.

Both bows include only three arrows. Kids learning archery lose arrows at a frightening rate, so I ordered six extra for each bow. Make sure you do the same, with arrows of the correct length. The parents will also probably appreciate a target. The relatively minimal draw weights for these bows means that a hay bale with a few dots spray-painted on it will work just fine.

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