On August 19, in a hotel lobby in Budapest, Hungary, professional runner Nikki Hiltz opened a text from their mother to find a quote often attributed to Anaïs Nin: “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” Hiltz’s mother had sent an inspirational quote before every race since Hiltz ran for the University of Arkansas. But Nin’s words still felt special to the 29-year-old middle-distance runner, U.S. national champion, and American record holder—and so did the day.
In just a few hours, Hiltz would compete in the 1,500-meter semifinal at the World Athletics Championships. Sitting in the lobby beside partner and fellow runner Emma Gee, they began to tear up. “I don’t know why I’m crying,” Hiltz said as Gee hugged them close. But Hiltz knew exactly why.
March of 2021 was the last time Hiltz had remained tight in a bud. That month they came out as transgender and nonbinary and began using they/them pronouns. (Hiltz continues to compete in the women’s category.) Two years later, in June 2023, they became the U.S. national champion in the 1,500-meter race and, just 13 days after that, ran a 4:16:35 mile at the Monaco Diamond League, an American record. “The year 2021 was when I made the decision that I couldn’t hide anymore,” Hiltz says. “But maybe there was a two-year delay in the blossom.”
In Budapest, Hiltz took the starting line clad in red, white, and blue. Beside them, some of the best athletes in the world blew out nervous air, shook their legs, and stared stoically forward. When the camera landed on Hiltz, they waved and blew a kiss, a tattooed arm catching the sun. During the final lap of the race, Hiltz fell behind, finishing in 4:00:84—their second-fastest 1,500-meter, but not good enough to advance to the final.
“I’m still pretty proud of myself,” Hiltz says. Before the World Championships, they’d decided on a goal much bigger than a podium finish. “I wanted to go to the World Champs, compete, and be that representation,” Hiltz says. “There’s nothing like sports. Look at us athletes. We’re ambassadors for our countries. We love each other, we root for each other, and we’re from all over the world.”
The power of representation isn’t lost on Hiltz, especially as a trans person in 2023. This year, a slew of anti-trans legislation was pushed around the U.S., each new bill landing like a gut punch to the LGBTQ+ community. By May of 2023, at least 520 anti-LGBTQ+ bills had been introduced in state legislatures, according to the advocacy group Human Rights Campaign.
Despite the menacing sociopolitical atmosphere, Hiltz has persevered—and is far from alone in doing so. In July of 2023, Quinn, a mononymous 27-year-old Canadian soccer player, became the first out transgender and nonbinary athlete to play in the FIFA World Cup. It was not the first time Quinn made history on the world stage. In summer 2021, they became the first out, trans-nonbinary athlete to compete in the Olympics, and the first to win a gold medal.
After the World Cup, Quinn helped launch the See Them, Be Them initiative, providing mentorship for teen girls and gender-diverse youth. The goal: to inspire young athletes, especially at an age when 82 percent of Canadian girls drop out of soccer. “We need more opportunities for girls and gender-
diverse soccer players to see their future in the sport,” Quinn wrote.
Both Quinn and Hiltz are careful to point out that their experiences do not represent those of all trans folks. “I compete as the sex I was assigned at birth, but I don’t want to be the poster child for every trans person,” says Hiltz. “If you are a trans woman, and you want to compete in the women’s category, I am so going to support you.”
Whether or not transgender women should be allowed to compete in the women’s category has become a cultural flash point. In 2023, a 27-year-old cyclist named Austin Killips became the target of anti-trans ire. On April 30, she became the first trans woman cyclist to win a professional stage race sanctioned by the UCI, road cycling’s international governing body. Killips’s win spurred criticism from media outlets and social media warriors alike. In response, the UCI banned trans women who transitioned after puberty from competing in the women’s category at any UCI-sanctioned event.
To a policy that effectively ended her career, Killips responded with broader concern. “I won’t be able to sleep at night if I’m not fighting for the next woman who deserves a shot at everything this sport has given me,” she wrote in her Substack newsletter, Estro Junkie. When ϳԹ spoke with Killips in late June, she quoted a passage from Simone Weil reminding her “to respond to criticism in a way consistent with the world you want to see,” Killips said. “You can’t impart harm and expect it to resolve a conflict.”
The prospect of that future world remains uncertain. For Killips, Hiltz, and Quinn, it’s impossible to know what the policy landscape will look like in the coming years. What they do know is that sports provided a sense of belonging from an early age. They want other kids to feel that, too.