Jeff Greenwald Archives - ºÚÁϳԹÏÍø Online /byline/jeff-greenwald/ Live Bravely Thu, 24 Feb 2022 18:56:34 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.7.1 https://cdn.outsideonline.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/favicon-194x194-1.png Jeff Greenwald Archives - ºÚÁϳԹÏÍø Online /byline/jeff-greenwald/ 32 32 Phantom Waters /outdoor-adventure/water-activities/phantom-waters/ Tue, 08 Aug 2006 00:00:00 +0000 /uncategorized/phantom-waters/ Phantom Waters

SOME YEARS BACK, the New York Yankees, in an effort to fill their stadium, came up with a terrific catchphrase: “At any moment, a great moment.” I recall the slogan when I’m about 60 feet beneath the Celebes Sea, diving along the precipitous coral wall that surrounds Indonesia’s Bunaken Island. Vitro Tumpia, a mocha-skinned scuba … Continued

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Phantom Waters

SOME YEARS BACK, the New York Yankees, in an effort to fill their stadium, came up with a terrific catchphrase: “At any moment, a great moment.” I recall the slogan when I’m about 60 feet beneath the Celebes Sea, diving along the precipitous coral wall that surrounds Indonesia’s Bunaken Island. Vitro Tumpia, a mocha-skinned scuba guide from Froggies Divers, raps his tank with the hilt of his knife—a quick, dull thunk that signals such a moment has arrived.

Access & Resources

THE SMALL PORT TOWN OF MANADO, on the northern tip of Sulawesi, is the jumping-off point for trips to Bunaken. Singapore Airlines (800-742-3333, ) flies from Los Angeles to Manado from

,450 round-trip, as well as from Newark to Manado from

,740. If you stay at Froggies, the staff will meet you at the airport and whisk you away in a dive boat for the 50-minute trip to Bunaken. Where to Stay: Froggies has eight comfortable seaside bungalows with verandas opening onto Bunaken Bay (, 011-62-431-850-210; from , based on double occupancy, including dinner and airport transfers). Exploring:We make eye contact, and he points. Just below us, a trio of blacktip reef sharks slips by, their vacant eyes and efficient jaws stirring a limbic dread. Their passage alerts a hawksbill turtle; she emerges from her lair and fades into the distance like a slow-moving UFO. In just 40 minutes, we’ve encountered scores of fantastic creatures: a tiny orangutan crab covered in crimson mohair, iridescent mandarin fish hiding among the red-tipped branches of a fire coral, and a family of ribbon eels, cartoon-character snakes with electric-blue bodies streaked with neon yellow.

All very enchanting, to be sure. What I’m really looking for, though, is one of Bunaken’s most elusive creatures: the ghost pipefish, a surreal cousin of the seahorse that’s as weird as anything out of Dr. Seuss’s imagination. Two days ago, I’d never even heard of these animals, but my short stay at the Froggies bungalows, with its expert and obsessive clientele, has already had an impact. My days of blithe diving are over; now I’m keeping score.

Off the northern tip of Indonesia’s Sulawesi lies Bunaken, a tiny island where the marine ecologies of Australia, Malaysia, and New Guinea converge. Bunaken, Indonesia’s most impressive national marine park, is one of the country’s success stories. It covers nearly a quarter-million acres, 97 percent of which is underwater. The modest entrance fee buys you admission for a year. (In contrast to many Indonesian national parks, which allegedly enrich Javanese bureaucrats, every rupiah of Bunaken’s fee is invested in reef and island conservation.)

On a globe, this part of the earth looks as remote as Betelgeuse. When you get there, of course, it’s a different story. Divers from all over the world consider North Sulawesi province an undersea mecca—a place to commune with rare varieties of nudibranchs, octopuses, and exotic fish. For many of these adventurers, Froggies, Bunaken’s best dive resort, is a home away from home.

Froggies is a funky, palm-shaded spot with eight bungalows, bucket baths, and plentiful seafood buffets. Geckos patrol the ceilings. Small waves lick the shore with a jazz-brush cadence. Formal entertainment is scarce, but one of the dive guides usually has a guitar in hand.

The queen of Froggies is Christiane Muller, a spry, 67-year-old, sun-ripened French-Italian woman with precise English and a dry sense of humor. Before her first dives (in 1988, at age 50), she’d had a variety of careers: DNA researcher, translator (she speaks six languages), and ethnic-music producer. It was on a trip to the Caribbean for music research that her youngest son invited her to go scuba diving.

“I told him I couldn’t possibly,” Muller laughs. “And he said, ‘Oh? I dare you.’ ” She grinds out her clove kretek in a glass ashtray. “The moment I touched the water, I had this feeling: I’m home. Now I get up every morning wondering, What will happen today? What will I see?”

Muller began her dive-instructor career on North Sulawesi in 1993. Two years later, she moved to Bunaken and hung the Froggies banner. Today, the shop is a magnet for serious divers, some even returning for a second or third visit. They’re a focused bunch: No package tourists here; this is a three-week, three-dives-a-day crowd. Most of the guests have logged hundreds of dives in their careers; some have cleared a thousand.

After dinner, the ten divers—two Belgians, two Germans, three Italians, a French couple, and me, the lone American—sit around the table, trying to remember the names of all the Seven Dwarfs. A cross-cultural puzzler, but we finally succeed, with the unobtrusive Happy as the last holdout.

Then comes the real fun: poring through Froggies’ zoology library, identifying the day’s critters. Maybe I’m deficient, but I’ve never cataloged the creatures I meet on dives. On Bunaken, though, I’m surrounded by aqua-twitchers—people who compile lists of every Amphineura and beryciform they’ve seen.

Oppressed by their jargon, I wander off to Muller’s bungalow. I express my impatience with this fetish for Latin nomenclature, but she simply shrugs. “When I started diving, I had the same feeling: I’ll never be able to remember all these names.” She looks at me slyly. “But you develop an interest.”

Of course, she’s right. After a few dinners with this lot, a photograph in the book Seahorses, Pipefishes and their Relatives gets under my skin. I find myself fascinated by a creature called the ghost pipefish.

Ghost pipefish (Solenostomus paradoxus) are like marine hummingbirds: delicate, multicolored creatures that hover around the nutrient-catching petals of feathery echinoderms. They’re elegant and adorable, and—it becomes evident—everyone’s seen them but me. The diving scorecard is out. I must make my mark.

BUNAKEN’S REEFS, among the richest in the world—they host around 70 genera of coral, while Hawaii’s have 17—ring the island in a range of undersea cliffs that plunge to incredible depths. These near-vertical walls, which draw cool deep-sea water, helped protect Bunaken from the devastating 1997–98 El Niño, which killed some of the world’s best reefs. The combination of high walls and varied corals attracts an abundance of both reef and pelagic animals, from Spanish dancers to blue marlin.

It’s my final day on Bunaken, and still no ghost pipefish. With Vitro Tumpia, my guide, I hover at 30 feet along the edge of a wall called Likuan. If there’s no feeling of vertigo, it’s because the depths below us are impossible to comprehend. If the ocean were drained, we’d be poised like hawks, hovering over the rim of the Grand Canyon.

As a last-ditch effort, Tumpia suggests a night dive. After the sun drops, we motor out to the “house” reef, less than 100 yards from Froggies’ lights. Incredibly, the water feels even warmer at night; it’s like plunging into God’s private Jacuzzi. We descend slowly, our dive lights blooming over the corals. By night, the reef is as resplendent as Times Square—there’s a whole new set of creatures, some in their finery, others with claws. A big sponge crab scuttles by, carrying its ungainly camouflage on its back; a lobster hides in a tiny cave, its long antennae testing our scent. Parrot fish shelter in place, sleeping in cocoons of saliva.

My air-pressure needle drops gradually. It’s time to let go of my pipefish obsession and get Zen about the experience. That won’t be so hard to do—the truth is, diving in Bunaken is better than any Yankees game: Every moment is a great moment.

It’s a noble sentiment that I almost believe. But my reverie is broken by the thunking of Tumpia tapping his tank. I swim toward him, and there they are: a pair of ghost pipefish, two inches long, hanging like red-and-white ornaments near the mouth of a feather star. We stare at them, shining our lights away from their eyes and watching their ethereal dance. How, I wonder, do they see us? We loom beside them large and ungainly, like balloons in a Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.

That night, after a dessert of ripe snake fruit, the zoology books come out. The other divers blink at me dismissively. “See anything this evening?”

“Just a few Dromidiopsis edwardsi. A Scarus bleekeri. Oh—and a couple of absolutely gorgeous Solenostomus paradoxus, hanging out near a crinoid.”

They raise their eyebrows, nodding silently. Muller kicks me under the table, grinning like the seventh dwarf.

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Hot Night Lights /outdoor-gear/camping/hot-night-lights/ Fri, 01 Aug 2003 00:00:00 +0000 /uncategorized/hot-night-lights/ Hot Night Lights

“CLEAR SKIES, CALM WINDS, lows in the upper fifties.” As these words echo across much of the lower 48 this month, thoughts turn to the backcountry—and a spur-of-the-moment overnighter in whatever wild amphitheater happens to be available. (Sorry, Central Park doesn’t count.) Thankfully, the new ultralight warm-weather sleeping bags make snoozing happily under the stars … Continued

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Hot Night Lights

“CLEAR SKIES, CALM WINDS, lows in the upper fifties.” As these words echo across much of the lower 48 this month, thoughts turn to the backcountry—and a spur-of-the-moment overnighter in whatever wild amphitheater happens to be available. (Sorry, Central Park doesn’t count.) Thankfully, the new ultralight warm-weather sleeping bags make snoozing happily under the stars a snap. The sacks on the following pages start at an ultra-wispy 17 ounces and max out at 32, which is still less heft than a bunch of grapes. They’re also highly packable—several squish down to the size of a Nalgene bottle—and take full advantage of sheer nylon shell fabrics. Of course, gossamer bags demand extra care: Flop a synthetic- or down-filled ultralight over a snaggy limb, for instance, and you’re asking for a fill-spewing gash. But user-friendly touches like simple collar-and-hood cinch adjustments, high-contrast zippers that are easy to find, and hang loops for drying make these bags as smart as they are light. Pop one in a daypack, toss in a ground pad, and add some water, a headlamp, a bagel for dinner, and an orange for breakfast. Seize the day, sure, but nab a comfy night at the same time.

Sleep right, sleep tight: cool bags for warm weather Sleep right, sleep tight: cool bags for warm weather


Steals

Tobago at sunset Tobago at sunset

STEALS
WAY TO TOBAGO For $596 per person, travelers can stay seven nights at the Ocean Point Hotel, in southeastern Tobago—and get ten boat dives to boot. The 12-room white-stucco hotel, which has kitchenettes in each of its air-conditioned, poolside rooms, caters to divers with its reasonably priced gear-rental program (a BC and regulator cost $10 per dive; snorkeling gear is $10 per day). At Kelliston Drain, off northeastern Tobago, expect to see the largest brain-coral formation in the world. Contact: 868-639-0973,

ARRIBA! From now until October 31, the beachfront Hyatt Dorado Beach Resort and Country Club, in northern Puerto Rico, is offering four-day packages starting at $555 per double, with a second room for half that price, a total savings of 55 percent off high-season rates. Half-day, two-tank dives are $115, food not included. Prices are not set for multiday dive packages, so expect some jovial haggling with the concierge. Don’t worry, it’s an island thing. Contact: 800-554-9288,
NEW TRIP
Diving for Data
Global Vision International’s new research trip to the SIAN KA’AN BIO-SPHERE RESERVE, off Mexico’s Yucatán Peninsula, lets volunteers dive—and HELP SAVE—the world’s second-largest barrier reef. Spend two to 20 weeks gathering data on crocodile, fish, and sea turtle populations, training local fishermen, and clearing away invasive species. It might sound like work, and you’ll have to sleep in a dormlike cabana, but it costs only $1,045 for a two-week stay at a REMOTE AND TRANQUIL OCEANSIDE research station. Plus, half of your payment goes toward further studies. Contact: 011-44-1582-831300,

1.) ON THE FLOAT
Named after a hairy alpine route in the Canadian Rockies, the ANDROMEDA STRAIN by INTEGRAL DESIGNS is ideal for fastpackers going high, low, or anywhere in between. The PrimaLoft Sport polyester stuffing resists water and can withstand punishment from your Maytag. Because seams create cold spots in insulation, ID topstitched the shell sparingly, and the bag’s body-hugging “floating” liner is sewn only at the edges. If nights in your area run warmer than the 40-degree rating, just yank down the full-length zipper. ($170; 403-640-1445, )

2.) GHOST TO GO
Can a one-pound-five-ounce bag really keep you warm? Tests confirmed that the MOUNTAIN HARDWEAR PHANTOM pulls it off. The footbox smothers your toes in lofty 800-fill down, while long internal chambers known as continuous baffles allow you to shift the feathers topside, for nippy nights, or beneath, for a plush nest on warm ones. A three-quarter-zippered opening shaves ounces and gives the 32-degree mummy-shaped Phantom a friendly summer-to-fall comfort range. ($240; 800-953-8375, )

3.) MORE IS LESS
WESTERN MOUNTAINEERING’s MEGALITE is so barely there that the company includes a disclaimer in its catalog: “Not intended for general field use.” But when treated with care, this mummy bag is a solid alpine performer. A wispy nylon shell fabric allows the 850-fill down to loft like a thunderhead. Minimalists will comfortably snooze in temperatures at least ten degrees below the 30-degree rating; continuous baffles produce a generous warmth range—just wiggle the down around to where you need it. ($295; 408-287-8944, )

1.) LONG-HAUL LITE
KELTY’s LIGHT YEAR mummy bag wraps 650-fill down in a Teflon-treated nylon shell: It breathes, and water beads up and rolls right off. These qualities, and the bag’s high compressibility, make the 45-degree-rated Light Year a sweet choice for through-hikers. Cinching up the hood and neck is a breeze, thanks to color-coded pull cords. To avoid sweaty feet, Kelty added a clever zip vent at the foot. Meanwhile, multiple loops and tabs steady your pad and keep the optional liner from shifting. ($120; 800-423-2320, )

2.) THE WHITE LIGHT
MOONSTONE helped develop Polarguard’s 3D synthetic fill, and the pearly-white 3D STRATUS goes nuts with the soft stuff, coddling those who tend to get wet from condensation with layers of fast-drying insulation over cold-sensitive zones like head, torso, and toes. On hot nights, yank down this mummy’s full zip. A durable, water-repellent coating resists stains, and tests have shown that the Stratus can be machine-washed and -dried repeatedly with only a slight loss of its 32-degree-rated thermal value. ($150; 800-390-3312, )

3.) SLEEP CYCLIST
The KOMPAKT SUMMER by MAMMUT is a good fit for stowage-challenged bike campers and alpinists. The semi-rectangular bag stuffs down to the size of a two-liter bottle—tuck it into a waist pack and fellow hikers will never suspect you’re sleeping out. Made with a wispy nylon shell and liner and filled with a fast-drying hollow-fiber polyester, this half-zip 50-degree bag is intended for people under six feet tall. On cooler nights, go-light types can tuck it inside an optional bivy sack. ($159; 800-451-5127,)

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Future Jock /health/training-performance/future-jock/ Fri, 01 Sep 2000 00:00:00 +0000 /uncategorized/future-jock/ Science is sprinting toward the super-enhanced athlete. Say hello to tomorrow's inhuman being.

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THE ATHLETIC WORLD is poised on the brink of revolution. Advances in a host of scientific fields—from genetics to pharmaceuticals—have jolted the public imagination, conjuring visions of perfect, disease-free bodies. Within a few years, these discoveries are likely to turn science fiction into science fact as future Olympians confront dangerous choices—and the opportunity to become something more, and less, than human.

The idea of an Olympics dominated by bio-enhanced competitors is sure to raise some ire. “Anything you didn’t get from God is illegal,” asserts Tim Conrad, a principal engineer in the Sport Science division of the U.S. Olympic Training Center in Colorado Springs. “We’re not trying to see who has the best engineers.”

Conrad’s purist position is a noble one. But it will soon fall under siege as enhancement methods become more and more sophisticated. If the past is any guide (see Ben Johnson et al.), the pressure for amateur athletes to reach ever-higher levels of performance will eventually trump the ethical issues—especially if Olympic gold is at stake. “You can’t put the genie back in the bottle,” says Charles Yesalis, author of Anabolic Steroids in Sport and Exercise and a professor of health and human development at Penn State University. “Money plays a huge role in modern sports—and normal people doing normal things doesn’t sell.”

Our present era of relatively “normal” athletics, with its diminishing returns and hair’s-breadth record-breaking, may well be coming to a close. Athletic milestones shaved with a razor could soon fall to the chainsaw. A 12-foot high jump, or three-minute mile? Don’t laugh; it may be within our genetically altered, prosthetically boosted grasp all too soon.


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HEY, GREAT GENES!

Within a decade, most of today’s synthetic performance-enhancing drugs—from anabolic steroids to erythropoietin (EPO)—may be all but abandoned in favor of a far more effective (and all but undetectable) strategy: gene doping.

“By 2010, drug testing will likely be a moot point,” says Yesalis. “Viruses and bacteria—the same gene delivery systems we’re using now in medicine—will be used to send genetic messages to an athlete’s cells. You want larger deltoid muscles? You want quicker reaction time, or more red blood cells? You’ll just turn on your insulin production, your natural amphetamine production, and your EPO production. The sky’s the limit.”

University of Chicago researchers have already enhanced the EPO-producing gene in mice and monkeys. Chiron, a California biotech firm, obtained similar results with baboons. Given the breakneck pace of genetic research, clinical trials of EPO therapy in humans could begin as early as 2003. If they’re successful, a single injection of modified genes could radically increase endurance by boosting an athlete’s red blood cell count by as much as 40 percent—for an entire season.

The EPO gene is just the tip of the iceberg. In 1998, scientists at the University College London Center for Cardiovascular Research discovered the so-called “jock gene,” which regulates an enzyme that controls electrolytes and blood vessel size; a form of the gene is present in many mountaineers and endurance athletes. But truly top-flight competitors like, say, Shaquille O’Neal possess a blend of synergic qualities: in Shaq’s case, dizzying height, strong knees, and exceptional hand-eye coordination. Such prodigies are born, not made, claims Yesalis. “The media like to pretend these athletes succeed by pure hard work. But I’ve coached high school kids who worked as hard, or harder, than many elite athletes. The truth is, they’re genetically set to do that sport.”

The Human Genome Project recently succeeded (years ahead of projections) in producing a nearly complete map of our genetic makeup. But reports that this milestone will be used only to treat disease are grossly naive, many sports physiologists believe. The time may come when biotech firms pay vast sums for the rights to sports heroes’ genetic codes. Gene “cocktails,” fabulously expensive, will deliver the hottest traits of celebrity athletes. Lose that cancer gene and Lance Armstrong Infusion will be a breakaway bestseller—right up there with Spitz Mix and Tiger Milk. And how much would a youth with hoop dreams beg, borrow, or steal for a genetic dose of Heir Jordan?


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CELL MATES

One week before the 2016 Games, the sensational Afghani gymnast suffers a bad dismount, destroying the ligaments in her left knee. The coach runs up to her, aghast. “What size are you?” he demands. “Four,” she groans. A few hours later the coach enters the refrigerated vaults of the Kabul Tendon Bank. Artificial knees, elbows, and shoulders line the walls, each embraced by glistening webs of bioengineered ligaments. By the next morning, the custom-fitted replacement tissue has been installed into the gymnast’s knee. Five days later—as she stands to receive her gold medal—a tiny scar is the only sign of her recent injury.

Tissue engineers trained in the newlywed fields of engineering and biology are striving for the Holy Grail of sports surgery: a mechanical soft-tissue replacement that can be attached directly to an athlete’s musculoskeletal frame. “We’re already making tissues that can be integrated over time,” says Tony Keaveny, associate professor of bioengineering at UC Berkeley. “One problem is, the body sometimes rejects them. Another is that they don’t have good mechanical properties at the outset. How do you manage it so they’re functional right away?”

One solution will be to cultivate whole tissue systems using cells taken from the athlete’s body. In several separate studies, rabbit knees have been injected with a mixture of cells and potency factors that grow into a cartilage-like replacement. The process, however, takes about a month, and the tissue may not be as good as the real thing. When the science is perfected, an athlete’s tissue cells will be harvested in advance and grown over precise, computer-modeled replicas of his or her bones. Eventually, such components won’t even have to be made from one’s own cells. “We could have off-the-shelf components, genetically engineered to be compatible with your body,” says Keaveny. “You’d remove them from their scaffoldings, and pop them right in.”

This sci-fi scenario may be a reality within 20 years. Further afield are cybernetic implants like carbon nanotubes. When perfected, these microscopic filaments will be the strongest materials ever synthesized. Laced through an athlete’s muscles, such fibers could allow athletes to raise the bar in many sports. And here’s an even wilder possibility: Take that nanotube-reinforced arm and program the muscle cells with the genetic trigger of a common flea’s jumping legs. Shot put, anyone?


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THE ULTIMATE HOUSE CALL

Today, an athlete visits a surgeon, seeking medical attention for a blown ligament. Tomorrow, an expert “surgeon” will literally circulate through an athlete’s bloodstream—affecting repairs whenever and wherever necessary.

In the 1992 book Nanosystems, futurist K. Eric Drexler popularized the concept of nanotechnology: microscopic machines (a nanometer is one billionth of a meter) that will someday perform tasks now relegated to entire factories, laboratories, or hospitals. The ultimate expression of this science will be “nanomedics”—devices that circulate in our bloodstreams, monitoring our health and destroying diseases before they can flourish. “Trends in miniaturization point to remarkable results around 2015,” Drexler predicts. “Device sizes will shrink to molecular dimensions; switching energies will diminish to the scale of molecular vibrations.”

Nanotechnology may currently be 99.9 percent fantasy, but technicians have already built and operated motors a fraction of the width of a human hair. In 1998, researchers at Cornell engineered a protein capable of using ATP—the body’s metabolic “power supply”—to drive a microscopic rotor. In the future, these primitive victories will give way to more sophisticated nanomachines, some fitted out with molecule-size computers.

The athletic application for such devices would be vast. Nanoscavengers could race beneath an impacted patella, clearing away shredded cartilage and building a new layer between track heats. Nanofilaments might circulate to strained muscle groups, forming chains and pulleys of super-strong protein. One Cornell scientist predicts live-in nanopharmacies that will manufacture drugs from chemicals in the body’s own cells, feeding them into the bloodstream as needed. “We’re no longer restricted to what nature builds,” says Ari Requicha, a University of Southern California computer scientist and nanotechnologist. “And that has incredible implications.”


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HOLD THAT THOUGHT

Bioengineeering and genetics may redefine the Olympian’s body, but physical conditioning is just part of the game. Every world-class athlete, from Andre Agassi to Marion Jones, abides in what’s often called a “winner’s mindset.” Words can’t define this psyched-up state—but brainwaves possibly can.

The human brain generates a broad range of electrical signals, depending on its activity. Washing dishes, for example, generates a lower wavelength than leaping off a 90-meter Olympic ski jump. When Venus Williams serves an ace, her brain is running at a specific—and very desirable—frequency. If she remains in that state, her game stays strong. “Of all the people competing in an Olympic event,” confirms Tim Conrad, “30 or 40 are physically prepared to win. The ones who stay together mentally will win medals.”

Years of training can prepare your muscles and reflexes for the high jump, but unless you’re in “the zone”—where mental focus and alertness are flowing in perfect balance—you’re going to eat the bar. To help athletes control this state, technicians in Colorado Springs are using Peak Achievement Trainers (PATs). These laboratory biofeedback devices, attached to the scalp with electrodes, allow athletes to monitor—and ostensibly regulate—their levels of mental arousal. At present, the devices are more hype than help. “If this were a silver bullet,” notes Conrad, “the companies making them would be extremely wealthy.”

Today, the unwieldy size of brainwave sensors and the inability of computer processors to track an athlete’s motion in real time prevent such biofeedback trainers from being practical. But experts like Conrad foresee the day when athletes will rely on next-generation “Personal Zone Monitors.” No larger than a deck of cards, such PZMs—worn like a heart monitor—could precisely measure a gymnast’s mindset through an entire routine. The unit would then help maintain this level by providing subtle signals to hold the mind on track.

Inevitably, virtual reality trainers—something like Star Trek’s “holodeck”—will also play a role in mental conditioning. The first generation of such trainers, albeit relatively primitive, are already in use. Mont Hubbard of UC Davis has built an Olympic bobsled simulator, programmed with the world’s major runs. And the USOC techs have developed a table-tennis robot capable of duplicating any kind of spin or trajectory. “It’ll beat the stuffing out of you,” Conrad promises.

Sure, but only until we’ve built a better human.ÌýÌý

Jeff Greenwald is the author of The Size of the World and Future Perfect: How Star Trek Conquered Planet Earth.


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