In the myopic present, a monument just isn’t a monument unless people can visit it, shoot it, and post the pictures on Flickr. And since the Great Pyramid of Giza is the only one of the original Seven Wonders of the World still in existence (the list was compiled 2,200 years ago), two competing groups have taken it upon themselves to update things. In February, the New7Wonders Foundationan international nonprofit whose members include Pritzker Prizewinning architect Tadao Ando, Swiss adventurer Bertrand Piccard, and actor Dennis Hopperwill come to the Americas to wrap up a six-month tour of its 21 finalists and solicit votes from around the world before announcing the winners on July 7 (7/7/07, get it?). And last November, USA Today partnered with ABC News to come up with their own list of seven wonders. So, in the spirit of revisionism, ϳԹ would like to offer up a new list of the Seven Natural Wonders of the World, because it’s not what man makes that matters but, rather, what makes the man.
JAWS
Pros: Birthing ground for tow-in surfing, Laird, Riding Giants.
Cons: It’s scary enough as is. How about aless sharky nickname?
THE HIMALAYAS
Pros: Gave us Reinhold Messner. Almost anyone can climb Everest.
Cons: See “Pros.”
THE GRAND CANYON
Pros: C’mon. It’s the Grand Canyon.
Cons: You shouldn’t be able to park at the world’s greatest geological formation. It’s awfully red.
EL NIÑO
Pros: Awesome name. Delivers epic Pacific surf and winter dumps.
Cons: Screws up pretty much everything else. Reminds us that, shamefully, we don’t speak Spanish.
CARBON
Pros: Basis of all life and most high-end sporting equipment.
Cons: CO2, credit-card debt.
EL CAP
Pros: 3,000 vertical feet of potential. Lynn Hill on the Nose.
Cons: Hill made everyone with testicles feel like an underachiever.
LANCE ARMSTRONG
Pros: Seven Tours, millions for cancer.
Cons: Made everyone with two testicles feel like an underachiever.